February 28th, 2008Is that a lump in your throat or a Lionel Richie aversion?
Like most men, I love pop music. Listening to it is OK, but whatreally floats my boat is learning a new, deeply obscure fact aboutthe people who recorded my favourite songs.
Music factoids are hard currency to the average man. We tradethem like football cards and use them to trump each other at thepub/pool table/tennis court.
For example: Man A observes that Ozzy Osbourne bit the head offa bat during a concert in Des Moines in 1982. “Oh yeah,” says ManB, “but he thought it was a stage prop and needed a rabies shotbecause the bat bit him back”.
Man C yawns and prepares to deliver his coup de grace. “My dadwas in jail with him in the late ’60s,” he says. “That’s when hegot the letters O-Z-Z-Y tattooed across his left knuckles and happyfaces on both knees.”
It’s game over. Men A and B grip their beers - they are dyinginside.
As a general rule, women are not as fascinated as men by theminutiae of Ozzy Osbourne’s life; they are less thrilled to learnthat Keith Richards routinely removes the bottom E string on hisguitars. Perhaps this discrepancy is explained by remarks made thisweek by Lesley Douglas, the co-ordinator of popular music at theBBC.
“For women, there tends to be a more emotional reaction tomusic,” she said. “Men tend to be more interested in theintellectual side: the tracks, where albums have been made, thatsort of thing.”
The remarks prompted howls of outrage from both sexes. Meninsisted that they too felt a lump in their throat when ArtGarfunkel sings “When you’re weary, feeling small” at the start ofBridge Over Troubled Water. Aggrieved women pointed out thatthey were quite capable of appreciating Jimi Hendrix’s use of theminor seventh chord and a wah-wah pedal on Foxy Lady.
Well, yes, of course. But as Nick Hornby and his New Ladacolytes have pointed out, the music “anoraks” - the kind that likethe smell of vinyl and keep back copies of Mojo magazineunder their bed - are almost always male. Many men would ratherdiscuss their Top 5 albums, Brian Jones’s mysterious death or theHoodoo Gurus shifting line-up, than their feelings. It’s a cliche,but that doesn’t make it any less true.
And surely, if we accept that women are generally more relaxedabout discussing their feelings, doesn’t it follow that they arelikely to be more open to music aimed squarely at the emotions?This, after all, would explain the success of James Blunt, aphenomenon many men find as appealing as male pattern baldness.
Certain women of my acquaintance love it when Blunt sings “Weshared a moment that will last till the end”. They wonder who he’ssinging about. I wonder if he shot anyone in Kosovo.
If Lesley Douglas is right, men and women can hear the same songin very different ways. This is certainly true.
When I hear Lionel Richie’s All Night Long I hear awell-crafted, but rather soppy pop song. My female friends hear apersonal invitation to join Lionel on his private jet for a nightof passion spanning two time zones. Their hips start to wiggle whenhe sings “We’re going to party” and they smile knowing smiles at”Let the music take control”.
Oddly, the same women struggle to understand the glory of JimmyPage’s guitar work on Kashmir. But let’s not get carriedaway. Look at the photographs of the front row at the Big Day Out:they show men and women equally gripped by the ecstasy of loud,hard music. One nation under a groove.
